For All The Cookies

"I haven't a clue as to how my story will end. But that's all right. When you set out on a journey and night covers the road, you don't conclude that the road has vanished... and how else could we discover the stars?"

Author: anonymous

The long awaited day has arrived.  After four months of  financial, physical, and mental preparations, loads of medical testing, and tons of paperwork all coming down to this.  This is a one hour interview via teleconference call with Dr. Micheal Hutcheon (Respirologist) with the Toronto General Hospital. I have one hour to prove to him that I am serious and would be an excellent candidate for a lung transplant.  Being 52 years old and having been diagnosed with very severe COPD with less than 5 years to live, It's for all the cookies my one chance to perhaps extend my quality of life and my  life expectancy.

My husband and I arrived at the Queen Elisabeth Hospital early not wanting to feel rushed. I needed to relax and not be short of breath during the interview.  The teleconference room turned out to be about 8' x 8' with a desk with a television on top, along one wall. Adjacent  from this was a small table with three chairs where my doctor, my husband and myself sat. The communications technician sat along the adjoining wall.  I pulled out my chair and when in doing this I jammed my husband's finger between the chairs. I looked up and there was Dr. Hutcheon on screen waiting for us. Definitely, not how I wanted this interview to start.

After the introductions, Dr. Hutcheon asked me lots of medical questions which I answered as best as I could. Those that I couldn't answer my specialist answered for me. We next discussed how my echo-cardiogram turned out to be so cloudy and unable to read.  My specialist suggested that another one be done if and when I reached Toronto. Also some tiny amount of bone loss showed up on my bone density test,  this I wasn't even aware of and certainly threw me for a loop.

Dr. Hutcheon then described how lung transplant surgery is performed, how it takes approximately 8 to 10 hours, some of the anti rejection  and the immunity drugs that I would be going on after the surgery and some for the rest of my life.  We also discussed the life expectancy percentages after transplantation for 1 year, 3 years and 5 years etc. All of  this I had already researched when deciding if this was what I wanted to do. So when he asked if I had any questions I truly didn't have any.  Except for the big one, of course, the one that I couldn't get out of my mind. Which was, "Are you going to accept me?" Which I couldn't ask because the decision was not only his to make.  He would take the results from this interview to a number of  people that make up the transplant team. It includes a Transplant Coordinator, Cardiologist, Anesthesiologist, Thoracic Surgeon, Psychiatrist, Nutritionist and a Social Worker. They, together would decide if I looked like a good candidate.

I felt I had to explain why I didn't have any questions.  I told him about all the research I had done.  I told him that I looked very carefully at all my options and this is what I wanted and needed. Wow, It has been a lot of years since I was this nervous. I did manage to ask for a time line on when I might hear back from them. He told me it would probably be in the new year. Going through my mind was how was I going to handle the stress of waiting another three months. He also stated that I might be to early for this, but we will see.  This is not something I was prepared to hear. I'm not certain if this is a good thing or not! This also ended the interview and it only lasted about 30 minutes.

My specialist made a comment as we were leaving the teleconference room that he figured I would have had come in with a page full questions. I sensed that he was disappointed with me. That was it for me, on the way home I immediately started beating myself up over not asking enough questions. Thinking of all the things I could have asked and didn't. My husband kept saying that I did fine, but I was sure I had royally screwed it up!

Exactly, two months to almost the day, I received a call from Kathy Whytehead,  Transplant Coordinator inviting me up for my week of testing January17 to January 21, 2011.  YES!  I'm moving on to the next step!!!!!