"There ain't no Santa Claus, there ain't no pony, and Elvis is way dead. Your life is going to get better only if you make it better. Pray to God but row for shore." Dr. Phil
Back in the 70's at the age of 12, after the rink closed for the season and before it was hot enough to spend our days swimming, we had to find somewhere to hang out. Somewhere that could accommodate a bunch of girls and preferably a place with very little adult supervision. Eventually, someone came up with the idea of taking a ferry boat ride on Saturday and Sunday afternoons. It was a great idea, it gave us the space we needed with the privacy to tell all our girly secrets, plus it was fun!
Then one day someone showed up with a cigarette. I remember being shocked but yet tingly with excitement at the same time. This was something adults did and we sooo didn't want to be little kids anymore. Some of us were timid at first, others were dead set against it but within a few weeks we were all taking drags of those nasty things. Soon one smoke wasn't cutting it so it became the responsibly of those who had family members who smoked, to sneak a cigarette for everyone. I also remember it got to the point of pooling our money and buying our first pack. We headed down to the ferry, where we smoked non stop cause no one was brave enough to take the package home with them so, we had to finish it before going home. We should have made ourselves so sick as to be permanently turned off cigarettes... but as luck would have it, it never happened.
How so I give up smoking? It definitely wasn't going to be easy, and I do know it wouldn't be "cold turkey". I would need help to give up my "crutch" that helped me through life's pressures, pain, anxiety or just plain bad days. I always found on these times that an little deeper drag on the smoke always made me feel better.
The first thing I tried was the patch. I followed the directions on the pack and made it through the first step, three weeks, but I was a wreck and it was time to move to step 2. Well step 2 lasted all of two days and I started smoking.
I moved on to the gum. Just in case someone is reading this and has never tasted the gum Let me tell you if you can image this, it's was a lot like chewing a ashtray full of cigarette butts. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted, plus I couldn't live with the heartburn.
Next trip back to the doctor she tells me about something called Zyban. Well, I just couldn't believe how easy this was. The first week you gradually cut back in the amount you smoke and it was easy because they weren't tasting at all like they use to so, I quit. Three weeks on the Zyban and I break out in hives, not a nice scene. I called the doctor and she informed me that I must be allergic to the Zyban. Off the Zyban and back smoking. UGH!!
Back to the doctor where we decided to go back on the patch, only this time stay on each level as long as I needed to. This worked!!! I had eight months smoke free, but I eventually I hit a bump in the road and started once more. However, this time I learned a very valuable lesson, I had proved to myself that I can do this. My next attempt was the good one, I now have over nine years in! I also have had many trials and never started again. The most important thing now is that I know in my mind that I will never start again!
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